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Coming into Right Relationship with Yourself

The way we relate to others, to Nature, to Life, and most importantly with ourselves, can have either a positive or negative impact on our wellbeing.

Through engaging in and nurturing meaningful relationships we have the opportunity to live a life that is filled with love, joy & beauty.

Through relationships we have the opportunity to learn more about ourselves and grow into a more conscious and humble human being.

Through relationships, we get to experience the fullness of life and the wholeness of oneself. 

Yet why is it that we see so many of us living in complete separation from one another? Why is it that even with the advancement of technology and its way of enabling us to communicate across the border we feel more isolated and lonely than ever? 

Throughout the past 10 years of self-observation in my own relationships (with my parents, lovers and myself) as well as listening to friends and family members in their own relationships, I’ve come to discover that it all our suffering stems from a lack of self-worth.

We suffer because we have become disconnected from our true essence. 

We suffer because we give our power away.

We suffer because we have forgotten who we are.

When we don’t feel adequate or “good enough”, we tend to shrink and close ourselves off from experiencing life. We protect our hearts and hold back from speaking our truth.

And when this happens, we make decisions that are mis-aligned and inauthentic. 

This behavior stems from a deep rooted fears of abandonment and rejection. We are living in fear of showing up as we truly are: weird, imperfect and beautiful.

Every single one of us is longing to be approved and loved. It’s human and ingrained in all of us. 

But what happens is that most of us are still looking for our parents’ approval.

It’s quite simple really: we want to be loved and we also want to love.

So as we grow up, we most often than not subconsciously are searching for that approval.

The danger in doing so is that we are placing our worth and value into the hands of others. 

Whether you are trying to prove yourself to your spouse, parent, boss, colleague, or neighbor it doesn’t matter. We are giving out power away when we are placing our self-worth in the hands of others or the world “out there”.

If we stay unconscious to this behavior, we will spend most of our lives trying to please and prove ourselves in ways that are so mis-aligned with our Soul’s deepest desires. And this creates dis-ease in our internal and external environment. We get physically and mentally ill, attract the wrong people into our lives, and can adopt a mindset and attitude that is detrimental for our growth and overall wellbeing.

Our feelings go unexpressed. And when our feelings are not expressed, we are not giving our needs a voice. Instead, we choose to keep our head down and continue forward. 

In the long run this leads to feelings of resentment and deep dissatisfaction in our work and personal lives. 

My life’s calling stems from a deep desire to live in harmony with all living beings on this planet. And I truly believe that it is possible, and moreover, that we are meant to live in harmony together. 

Our attributes and natural abilities compliment each other. Each one of us has a gift that the other doesn’t. And it’s up to us to nurture and cultivate that gift and share it.

Unfortunately so many of us have stopped ourselves from growing into our fullest potential for fear of being isolated, of being alone or of being rejected.

We choose to conform and try to mold ourselves to become someone we think we should be (in the eyes of our parents, partners, friends, society), and thus begins the separation within.

And as we separate ourselves more and more from our true, natural essence, we are also inevitably going to create a gap between ourselves and the world.

A divide that will only get wider and wider the more we continue living in fear. 

The fear of speaking our truth

The fear of being rejected 

The fear of being hurt 

The fear of being alone 

Here is the biggest revelation I’ve come to: If we are to live in harmony with one another, where everyone is respected, honored and seen in their authentic beauty, we must enter into right relationship with ourselves. 

How are we to show up with love, compassion and kindness to another if we cannot show up for ourselves? 

We must first learn how to: 

-Accept who we are in our wholeness 

-Understand the language of our emotions 

-Cultivate our self-confidence and trust

-Open our hearts to receive and give love 

-Speak our truth 

-Discern the lies from reality 

-Live in alignment with the best version of yourself 

It’s only when we have come into right relationship with ourselves, that we can come into a harmonious relationship with another, in wholeness.

You no longer are seeking a partner to complete you because you have found wholeness within you

You no longer are seeking that “golden star” from your boss because you know your worth and value

You no longer are afraid of speaking up because you have given your needs a voice 

Instead of the all-to-common relationship behaviors out of manipulation, guilt and fear that further creates a divide, what if we approached our relationships differently. With 

Curiosity – Never assuming that you know everything about another. 

Vulnerability – Being open to sharing your hearts deepest truths and desires 

Compassion – Acknowledging everyone’s difference and struggles 

Honesty – Being honest with yourself and another in how you feel 

Kindness – Communicating through the heart with grace, patience and kindness 

Integrity – Acting in a way that is in alignment with your values 

The choice is simple and ours to make:

Either we continue with the status quo, living in a world of fear, plagued by insecurities, lack of trust, superficiality and low self-worth, or we choose to become the change we want to see. 

We will never be able to control let alone change another. The best we can do is to take ownership of your own actions and reactions to what life gifts us. 

Are you acting in integrity with your words, thoughts, feelings and actions? 

All the changes you wish to see in the outer world begins within you. 

Thus begins our Journey back Home, to mend the relationship with ourself.

To piece ourselves back together and reclaim our Truth & Power. 

The Truth in our hearts and the Power in our consciousness. 

And only when we have gone within ourselves and done the deep work, can we notice our relationships around us begin to flourish. 

My wish for you is that you become your own best ally along this Journey called Life. 

That you let go of the self-judgement and criticism and choose to become empowered and loving in your actions instead of self-destructive. 

It’s time we rise up and take ownership of our peace, joy and wellbeing. It’s time we wake up and realize our value comes from our own acceptance. 

Can you accept the person that you are? Can you see the beauty in yourself through the clouds of your mind? Can you nourish your own light when the outside world goes dark? 

If you’re ready to come back into wholeness and experience more love, joy and peace in your relationships, you are in the right place 🙂 Share your thoughts and comments below!

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